OK- not really sticker shock- but body shock, venue shock, and an extremely funny reality check. People whom I have been asking questions of today keep telling me "oh, yes, but that'll be busy because of the Ironman people coming in...." and when I told my inquisitive waiter that I was going to walk down to the race transition venue- after I'd asked for directions- he asked, not if I was participating, but if I was going to take advantage of the nice day.
At the airport there was a tall blond guy that oozed athlete, and fast. (I'm pretty sure no one looked at me and thought that!) In fact I started to think, geez, does my butt look that big or do I look like I don't get messy? Wait til Sunday.
So needless to say there will need to be some inside the head action going on here the next few days. As I was walking along the lake - thinking it doesn't look all that cold! And thankful that the air temperature is a sunny 75-ish today- a group of German bikers came whizzing past looking like they knew what they were doing.
Tomorrow I'm to get on my bike- that is after hoping it has been 1. delivered 2. reassembled 3. to my fit! and ride in an area that boasts about 3 million people - while I'm used to rural Ames where no one bothers me as long as they're not texting. Always another growth opportunity!
I have to swim in a fish bowl on Friday, on the second floor of the hotel- not that several hundred other athletes don't have the same idea.
And I have the concierge finding out what orphan athletes who have no family or friends to help them do in case they can't pick up their bikes by midnight because they're still finishing or getting IVs! I could donate the bike I suppose. But then there's the wetsuit, the bike shoes and helmet and warm up shirt and shorts I'll have had on in the morning also.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Mother of Encouragement
One of my earliest blogs last year occurred when I told my mother at lunch one day what I was doing. Or rather my son brought it up, no doubt knowing that there would be some confusion and fun around explaining to my 84 year old mother why I was doing it.
From her initial "your going to kill yourself" response to the phone call with her last weekend. I expressed that I was sorry now that I hadn't taken Dustin out of school for a couple days to come along- to have someone there, knowing it was going to be emotional both at the beginning and at the end, and that recounts of other athlete's Ironman experiences revealed how important that family or friends siting along the way was to them.
I'm prepared to throw up, or have diarrhea and to suffer the pain through it telling myself to keep moving forward but I'm not prepared for starting or crossing the finish line alone. That will be tougher than anything I've ever done. And I've had a big big baby, and felt that great sense of alone that follows a divorce. I didn't expect it. I didn't expect to need that so much.
I told my mom how I was excited, nervous, and a little scared- all true, but that my goal was to focus on enjoying the experience - and realizing all the time that this "first" will never come again- regardless of whether another Ironman does or not.
She piped in- "right, you don't have to win it, just do well." How far has she come?? To be referring to Ironman and winning in the same sentence! One thing is for sure- I can't keep up!!
Oh my. Winning in this event is finishing for me! And having the experience of a lifetime, being able to walk away choosing to do it again or to be satisfied with the day.
From her initial "your going to kill yourself" response to the phone call with her last weekend. I expressed that I was sorry now that I hadn't taken Dustin out of school for a couple days to come along- to have someone there, knowing it was going to be emotional both at the beginning and at the end, and that recounts of other athlete's Ironman experiences revealed how important that family or friends siting along the way was to them.
I'm prepared to throw up, or have diarrhea and to suffer the pain through it telling myself to keep moving forward but I'm not prepared for starting or crossing the finish line alone. That will be tougher than anything I've ever done. And I've had a big big baby, and felt that great sense of alone that follows a divorce. I didn't expect it. I didn't expect to need that so much.
I told my mom how I was excited, nervous, and a little scared- all true, but that my goal was to focus on enjoying the experience - and realizing all the time that this "first" will never come again- regardless of whether another Ironman does or not.
She piped in- "right, you don't have to win it, just do well." How far has she come?? To be referring to Ironman and winning in the same sentence! One thing is for sure- I can't keep up!!
Oh my. Winning in this event is finishing for me! And having the experience of a lifetime, being able to walk away choosing to do it again or to be satisfied with the day.
More on Gratitude
I have more people to thank than will ever reach these posts.
People who barely know I think of them as inspiration.
Mark Leblanc for taking time to talk to me about growing my business and for showing me a humbling yoga experience that gives me a goal for early 2011. And for sharing his experience in his book, Never Be the Same. I do know that at the end of this journey I won't be the same. I will have gone so much farther than 140 + miles away from where I was. There will be change in my life that happens for it. In the end only I am responsible for the experience I have in this world.
Dustin Atkinson who every once in a while will make sure I know he knows this has some importance to me. "Does that day have some significance somehow" he'll ask when we're talking about November 21. Or when my answer to a question is 'let's talk about that after the 21st.' He's talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas and a birthday in January. I'm thinking that's A.I. (after Ironman) and reminded there is life after that! (He's not on this list because he doesn't already know how important he is- but that he doesn't know how much his words ground me- sometimes kick me in the shins...but ground me nevertheless.)
The triathlon training group who finished their first tri this summer. They went across a new threshold and through them I got to relive a 'first' vicariously. They remind me why I got into this again. They bring me back to getting people to experience life in a bigger way. They remind me how much alike we are in this human experience. They also reminded me of how to have fun while working again!
Coaches who spent time with my son in various was this past summer and fall. Jay, RJ and Chris, all who are helping feed dreams and create character that is a bigger value than the score itself. The legacy of Don Palmer and his value of golf as a game that reflects the type of person you are off the green and fairway. If we can shoot for the fairway and play our best through the rough, we're doing OK. I'm haunted (in a good way) knowing that he's on that course with Dustin and that what happens in the clubhouse among a foursome, or in the van on the way home from a meet, is as important as the game itself.
People who barely know I think of them as inspiration.
Mark Leblanc for taking time to talk to me about growing my business and for showing me a humbling yoga experience that gives me a goal for early 2011. And for sharing his experience in his book, Never Be the Same. I do know that at the end of this journey I won't be the same. I will have gone so much farther than 140 + miles away from where I was. There will be change in my life that happens for it. In the end only I am responsible for the experience I have in this world.
Dustin Atkinson who every once in a while will make sure I know he knows this has some importance to me. "Does that day have some significance somehow" he'll ask when we're talking about November 21. Or when my answer to a question is 'let's talk about that after the 21st.' He's talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas and a birthday in January. I'm thinking that's A.I. (after Ironman) and reminded there is life after that! (He's not on this list because he doesn't already know how important he is- but that he doesn't know how much his words ground me- sometimes kick me in the shins...but ground me nevertheless.)
The triathlon training group who finished their first tri this summer. They went across a new threshold and through them I got to relive a 'first' vicariously. They remind me why I got into this again. They bring me back to getting people to experience life in a bigger way. They remind me how much alike we are in this human experience. They also reminded me of how to have fun while working again!
Coaches who spent time with my son in various was this past summer and fall. Jay, RJ and Chris, all who are helping feed dreams and create character that is a bigger value than the score itself. The legacy of Don Palmer and his value of golf as a game that reflects the type of person you are off the green and fairway. If we can shoot for the fairway and play our best through the rough, we're doing OK. I'm haunted (in a good way) knowing that he's on that course with Dustin and that what happens in the clubhouse among a foursome, or in the van on the way home from a meet, is as important as the game itself.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Brain Freeze
My coach tells me that 70 is not too cold. Not a real need for a neoprene cap.
Tell I tell you that I've done the majority of my laps in a pool 84 degrees?
And that I like it?
While it's true, that the mornings I've taken more time to get in the water than my first four laps take because it was cooler than normal I have swum faster(even before my lesson with Tim) than usual and felt better upon completion- comfort is my first concern.
My coach tells me to get in on Saturday morning for 10-20 minutes- get wet, swim out swim back and get out. No problem. The trick I think...is wanting to go back on Sunday and do it again knowing what I'll know then.
Two caps. Can help.
There's the sudden concern maybe ear plugs will keep cold out- but I don't train with them so it seems like a bad idea.
I do train with a nose plug- but am afraid that will fall off. I may try the wrap around the neck version this morning and see if that is worth the switch.
The goggles I have leak just a little and I adjust them a lot. I'm tightening this morning before jumping in- so see if I can fix that.
Last minute worries. They aren't about chemo, radiation, losing my hair, being able to work, or fear of not seeing my son play next season. I have few worries. I have luxuries.
Tell I tell you that I've done the majority of my laps in a pool 84 degrees?
And that I like it?
While it's true, that the mornings I've taken more time to get in the water than my first four laps take because it was cooler than normal I have swum faster(even before my lesson with Tim) than usual and felt better upon completion- comfort is my first concern.
My coach tells me to get in on Saturday morning for 10-20 minutes- get wet, swim out swim back and get out. No problem. The trick I think...is wanting to go back on Sunday and do it again knowing what I'll know then.
Two caps. Can help.
There's the sudden concern maybe ear plugs will keep cold out- but I don't train with them so it seems like a bad idea.
I do train with a nose plug- but am afraid that will fall off. I may try the wrap around the neck version this morning and see if that is worth the switch.
The goggles I have leak just a little and I adjust them a lot. I'm tightening this morning before jumping in- so see if I can fix that.
Last minute worries. They aren't about chemo, radiation, losing my hair, being able to work, or fear of not seeing my son play next season. I have few worries. I have luxuries.
The Transition Bag
The 2010 race guide finally arrived in my "in" box just last week. Not that it offered information much different than the 2009 guide, but it was a long-awaited publication I'm sure for some 2000 athletes registered for AZ Ironman. As if we didn't have enough to think about in final days of peak weeks and tapers. We could BMW about that not being done too in order to vent some pent up anxiety onto someone else!
So in pouring over the 'bags' I'll receive at athlete check-in. I made my bedroom floor transition and aid-station central last weekend. From the swim pile, to the swim-to-bike pile, then the special needs bike bag, the bike-to-run transition bag, the special needs run bag and finally it will be done!
Oh, the dilemma over what to put in each. And the distress about 'will I find peanut butter and jelly to make sandwiches while I'm there?' In that contemplation I nearly forgot the swimsuit that I'll need for under the wet suit. Having volunteers strip me naked on the beach after the swim is not only something I want to avoid, but evidently public nudity is illegal.
You need to have reflective material on your bike gear. That's because they think there's a good chance you'll finish in the dark.
You're not to place anything in your transition or special needs bags "of value." I'm wondering what that definition is? I highly value that new Pearl I bike jacket that I'm thinking will feel good on the bike after 70 degree water, and I also think that by the time I hit my special needs bike bag I might be warm enough to ditch it.
I need a friend or family member to get my bike in case I can't make it back by midnight to retrieve it. I either have to get married before Sunday morning or make a new non-competing friend before Sunday in order for that to happen. Everything must be removed by midnight. They don't say "or what." I may find out. Or they may have a new Cervelo and slightly used wet suit, and size 8 biking shoes.
Walking, Running and crawling are legal ways to cross the finish line. All other forms of locomotion are not. Good to know.
Then there's the Julie Moss story that always looms in the back of my mind. Nothing is said about that in the athlete guide.
So in pouring over the 'bags' I'll receive at athlete check-in. I made my bedroom floor transition and aid-station central last weekend. From the swim pile, to the swim-to-bike pile, then the special needs bike bag, the bike-to-run transition bag, the special needs run bag and finally it will be done!
Oh, the dilemma over what to put in each. And the distress about 'will I find peanut butter and jelly to make sandwiches while I'm there?' In that contemplation I nearly forgot the swimsuit that I'll need for under the wet suit. Having volunteers strip me naked on the beach after the swim is not only something I want to avoid, but evidently public nudity is illegal.
You need to have reflective material on your bike gear. That's because they think there's a good chance you'll finish in the dark.
You're not to place anything in your transition or special needs bags "of value." I'm wondering what that definition is? I highly value that new Pearl I bike jacket that I'm thinking will feel good on the bike after 70 degree water, and I also think that by the time I hit my special needs bike bag I might be warm enough to ditch it.
I need a friend or family member to get my bike in case I can't make it back by midnight to retrieve it. I either have to get married before Sunday morning or make a new non-competing friend before Sunday in order for that to happen. Everything must be removed by midnight. They don't say "or what." I may find out. Or they may have a new Cervelo and slightly used wet suit, and size 8 biking shoes.
Walking, Running and crawling are legal ways to cross the finish line. All other forms of locomotion are not. Good to know.
Then there's the Julie Moss story that always looms in the back of my mind. Nothing is said about that in the athlete guide.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Gratitiude List
During miles and minutes and hours of training there has been one constant. Aside from the sacrifice of time that would have spent otherwise and with other people, and the extra laundry, groceries, need for sleep, and desire for massage, I mean one constant besides those!
It's been a spiritual experience. Any longer run, swim or bike can do that on some level. But over these months it's been especially true. So many more people around me, next to me, and just one person away from me have had health issues during my training time. To be here. To have the ability to choose this goal, in itself has been a blessing. Last night before I went to sleep I realized next Sunday (November 21) I most likely would still be out there. Prior to the marathons I've done I always told myself or anyone training with me that getting to the starting line healthy was the goal. So it is with this. Looking back at this year, its been amazing. I've had maybe one or two days of not feeling good. I had half a week where I didn't hit the workouts in time or distance. That at the time seemed like a loss. In the scheme of things you train that long and it's built in; its OK and you can adjust.
I've thought about people who have passed through my life who got me to this place of thinking I can and wanting to push limits.
My grandmother McCaw who was always so glad to see me and sorry to see me go; first to praise efforts of creativity and taught me to dream about what I could do with those early talents; and provided me with opportunities.
Sharon Mathes who was my major professor and who until recently rejected my early ideas about thesis work for reasons I only now understand. Handling life with her ease and grace of touching people is a worthy goal.
Don Palmer who began his life over at 54 with a woman with a 6 year old and three older children to boot. He taught me most about how to define a well-lived life. When I'm forgetting to laugh at things that are out of my control and when I'm being small, I'm reminded of what he might do instead.
There are more, but these three I know are somewhere that they can see the start and finish. I'm hoping to see them between mile 1 and 140 - in a tailwind through the bike, or a second wind on a hill in the run, even better yet in that little swim start amongst 2000 people.
I see myself at least now soaking up the day and the experience and knowing there's only one first time. I see myself thanking the volunteers and officials and the spectators who are there for others but encouraging everyone. I know that feeling of having a day of racing like that will be my goal much more than any time. And that the richness of that experience is based on the people who have influenced those kinds of values in me.
It's been a spiritual experience. Any longer run, swim or bike can do that on some level. But over these months it's been especially true. So many more people around me, next to me, and just one person away from me have had health issues during my training time. To be here. To have the ability to choose this goal, in itself has been a blessing. Last night before I went to sleep I realized next Sunday (November 21) I most likely would still be out there. Prior to the marathons I've done I always told myself or anyone training with me that getting to the starting line healthy was the goal. So it is with this. Looking back at this year, its been amazing. I've had maybe one or two days of not feeling good. I had half a week where I didn't hit the workouts in time or distance. That at the time seemed like a loss. In the scheme of things you train that long and it's built in; its OK and you can adjust.
I've thought about people who have passed through my life who got me to this place of thinking I can and wanting to push limits.
My grandmother McCaw who was always so glad to see me and sorry to see me go; first to praise efforts of creativity and taught me to dream about what I could do with those early talents; and provided me with opportunities.
Sharon Mathes who was my major professor and who until recently rejected my early ideas about thesis work for reasons I only now understand. Handling life with her ease and grace of touching people is a worthy goal.
Don Palmer who began his life over at 54 with a woman with a 6 year old and three older children to boot. He taught me most about how to define a well-lived life. When I'm forgetting to laugh at things that are out of my control and when I'm being small, I'm reminded of what he might do instead.
There are more, but these three I know are somewhere that they can see the start and finish. I'm hoping to see them between mile 1 and 140 - in a tailwind through the bike, or a second wind on a hill in the run, even better yet in that little swim start amongst 2000 people.
I see myself at least now soaking up the day and the experience and knowing there's only one first time. I see myself thanking the volunteers and officials and the spectators who are there for others but encouraging everyone. I know that feeling of having a day of racing like that will be my goal much more than any time. And that the richness of that experience is based on the people who have influenced those kinds of values in me.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Timely swimming tips
Too many miles on the tri bike may have resulted in some bad habits! The posture evidently had carried over to the water. Something about keeping your nose to the grindstone may have had something to do with it. But an innocent bystander observing my stroke on Friday morning asked if she could make a suggestion.
I was both thinking, "You have no idea what you're doing" meaning- giving me more things to frett about weeks before swimming longer than I've ever swam, in water colder than I've ever swam, with more people than I've ever swam...you get the idea!
However, I did have the common sense to identify that she had a beautiful stroke herself and was swimming with such ease that I was trying to emulate her even before she spoke to me. I called Tim Hansen and scheduled one of the half hour swim lessons I've had on my books for over three years!
Sat am at 7 I asked him to observe me as I started my long workout for that day and not give me too much to overwhelm me but tips that would make the biggest impact on economy and efficiency to help cut down on fatigue and ensure I could relax sooner into my own swim pace.
With his tips I cut 6 seconds off my 25yd and 16 off my 100. Plus, it felt easy- as if I was gliding rather than working harder expending more energy.
I wasn't sure about whether to laugh or cry.....the months of maybe less than good form- expending energy that could have been reserved for more distance, or for better recovery.
I laughed instead- how fun was that!
No one ever accused me of being fast! OK- one person, and I at the time felt sorry for him, thinking that he really needed lessons!
A friend of my son's commented to him on how slow I was in the pool while swimming laps at the country club this summer. Something like a "your mamma" joke I suppose. I couldn't hold telling the truth against him! All I could do was think, if you think that's bad you should see my run and bike! It's true I was getting slower every day !!
At least some light at the end of the tunnel.
New book by my nightstand. I finished "Seventeen Hours to Glory" and am reading the lone from swim coach, "Becoming an Ironman." It's exactly what I need this next three weeks. Triumph from all walks of athlete and the simple reminder that mere mortals do do this.
I may be learning the most about what to pack in my special needs bags from this book. The expert books all tell it like a bullet point list, but this one, from the trenches tells me what worked for these people. So far the common denominator? Advil, Aleve and some kind of treats to look forward to!
19 days to go. OMG.
I was both thinking, "You have no idea what you're doing" meaning- giving me more things to frett about weeks before swimming longer than I've ever swam, in water colder than I've ever swam, with more people than I've ever swam...you get the idea!
However, I did have the common sense to identify that she had a beautiful stroke herself and was swimming with such ease that I was trying to emulate her even before she spoke to me. I called Tim Hansen and scheduled one of the half hour swim lessons I've had on my books for over three years!
Sat am at 7 I asked him to observe me as I started my long workout for that day and not give me too much to overwhelm me but tips that would make the biggest impact on economy and efficiency to help cut down on fatigue and ensure I could relax sooner into my own swim pace.
With his tips I cut 6 seconds off my 25yd and 16 off my 100. Plus, it felt easy- as if I was gliding rather than working harder expending more energy.
I wasn't sure about whether to laugh or cry.....the months of maybe less than good form- expending energy that could have been reserved for more distance, or for better recovery.
I laughed instead- how fun was that!
No one ever accused me of being fast! OK- one person, and I at the time felt sorry for him, thinking that he really needed lessons!
A friend of my son's commented to him on how slow I was in the pool while swimming laps at the country club this summer. Something like a "your mamma" joke I suppose. I couldn't hold telling the truth against him! All I could do was think, if you think that's bad you should see my run and bike! It's true I was getting slower every day !!
At least some light at the end of the tunnel.
New book by my nightstand. I finished "Seventeen Hours to Glory" and am reading the lone from swim coach, "Becoming an Ironman." It's exactly what I need this next three weeks. Triumph from all walks of athlete and the simple reminder that mere mortals do do this.
I may be learning the most about what to pack in my special needs bags from this book. The expert books all tell it like a bullet point list, but this one, from the trenches tells me what worked for these people. So far the common denominator? Advil, Aleve and some kind of treats to look forward to!
19 days to go. OMG.
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