Mind Games

Two weeks ago on a four hour bike ride I changed my mind four times about going or not going. Literally. I doubt whether I’ve done enough running to prepare my foot. I doubt whether I have enough confidence to know that. I don’t want to have surprises in the last couple hours due to not having trained on my feet enough.

I’ve heard myself tell my son over golf tournaments this summer that there are 18 holes every round. You have to play every one of them every time. So then if I don’t go am I skipping out on the last few holes?

One tournament he was hurting and he then wanted to hit a last shot out of a shrub. As soon as he connected we both knew it was over, but he had to make the call. A month from school golf, I wanted him to call it a day. He finally did. And if I’m in the middle of IM AZ and think I’ll ruin the next 40 years of physical activity I hope I’ll know the time to stop. Getting there is the win. I’ve been proud of Dustin for entering and wanting to compete, for putting in the practice time. But I’ve had joy when he won and he had the fun for what he earned and deserved. I may get the joy of finishing all three legs but I may have to settle for the joy of effort I’ve had during training.

Chevy envy

I want to be more like my son when I grow up. Reality is that on his golf team this year his coach has dubbed him "the rock" or the "Chevy" because they can depend on his score counting. He can have a bad shot, a poor hole, or an average day but his score will still be fairly reliable because he can get past it and on to the next shot.

I realize how similar a golf match and an endurance triathlon can be at this point. In the last three weeks I've had more doubts and more in trepidation and anxiety than excitement about the race, that's for sure. I'm not of course by any means looking to win, or finish in the light even! But it's going to be about keeping my head in the game. My fitness level will only get me to the starting line. The rest is between the ears. Toughest six inches to change is what my step father, also a golfer, used to say. If you can get that shot to drop you're in. That one however is not a 'gimme.' It's tough work. Consistently squashing the little voices in your head that are getting in the way. Creating louder voices that repeatedly state:

I've done the work.
I've consistently completed the workouts week after week.
One stroke, one mile, one step at a time.
Slow and steady wins my race.
I'm lucky to be here participating and competing only with myself and those little voices.

I just need to be dependable. Listen to my own race and not pay attention to how someone else is doing theirs. My heart rate, my stomach tolerance, my vision of the finish line.

Steady forward progress.

Ironjourney

My iron journey this week is slow going! So, I'm in the second week of experimenting with orientation for Trifuel, and its going fine. Just that the "iron" I've pushed most recently has been the ice chopper. I saw my driveway just in time to have it snow and blow about 3-4 foot drifts across it and my sidewalk again.

"nuff said- well except that I've not started my snowblower all winter and I doubt it wants to start today. This is not good. Once again weighlifting could take on a different form today. Kids are two hours delayed and yet my teenager is at his dad's so that's no help to me!

The mind is the biggest factor in training there's no doubt. For the last two weeks I've done an easy run in the evening as a second workout on two different days. I haven't preferred to run late in the day for about 20 years! My knees and head just feel better doing that early in the day. I could bike late, lift late, swim late(that's just a nuisance late in the day) but not run- or so I had my mind made up.

My mind set has changed to - if that's what I have to do, that's what I have to do. It has felt great actually!

I'm off to set my mind on clearing the driveway and then hitting the bike right now! I'll let you know how it goes!