Doubts

The last blog eluded to the fact that I've had some tough last three weeks. Stress seems to be at an all time high. The fall busier than usual and the countdown to Ironman AZ just 60-some days away.
I've actually looked at the emails about reimbursements. Before Oct 1 I could still get $150 back. Then I came to my senses. I've spent too much time and energy and sacrificed time with family and friends and sleeping not to complete this. More than that though, this is too representative of something more.

I was wrong about this though. I often seek physical challenges when I am feeling I need to be more mentally and emotionally strong. I truly believe where the body goes the mind will follow....and often vice verse.

I always knew that it would be me- just me- getting me from the starting line to the finish line.

In an event like this however it can become apparent that you can't do all of this by yourself. Support is everything. Even in little ways. I've done way more in the last decade alone than I ever planned or wanted to do. Yet, this one is hard. This is one I'm struggling with. It's too big. Feels like too much weight.

Somewhere in the last couple weeks I think I actually hit bottom. You can't fill up completely from another cup if one is empty. We have to get it from different places in order for us to completely be full. At least that's true of me I'm finding the hard way.

I'm going to start the 2010 Arizona Ironman. I'm gong to finish the 2010 Arizona Ironman. And probably like 1999 other athletes I'm going to dig deeper than I really want to in order to do it. Somewhere between here and there I'm going to have to learn how to ask for help better and accept it when its offered.

Probably worth the price of the entry fee right there.

This is the last of the mention of doubts. The rest of my countdown to Ironman AZ will be about how I'm going to get from start to finish. I'm reading "17 Hours to Glory" and if you're a triathlete or a sports fan at all- its worth the price to read about all kinds of athletes who've completed the infamous Kona Ironman.